Just Me, Mylee

A mother, a writer, a happiness-seeker and self-improvement junkie navigating through life in the city.

I woke up with an anxious feeling this morning and I knew exactly why. It’s because today my son will be taking public transportation home. And I bet I’m going to sound like a total asshole here but I feel so bad about it. I feel like there’s something wrong. Like I’m a bad parent for not picking him up.

What is the matter with me? I don’t know why I’m like this. Sebastian is 15 now, way old enough to take the bus home and besides, it’s not like he’s going to be by himself. He’ll be with his friends during his trek from school to the train station.

Still there’s a part of me that feels like I’m failing him. Shouldn’t he be getting picked up from school everyday like his older sister was? Shouldn’t I be sparing him from the mean city streets of downtown San Francisco? Is it really that I feel bad about it or is it that I see this as a symbol of my son growing up?

Yea, I get it. It’s pretty dumb of me. But I live in the city, my son’s high school is located downtown in close proximity to the Tenderloin district where, let’s just say, colorful people roam the streets. My kids have been driven to and from school since they all started in pre-K. I, on the other hand, was a latch-key kid growing up in the late 70s and early 80s.

Times were different back in my day. But even back then I had to deal with the crazy guy in the pick-up truck who showed me and my best friend his junk while we were waiting at the bus stop. And the punk kid who tried to mess with me on my walk home from school so I ended up not going straight to my house and instead found help at some random stranger’s house around the block.

I didn’t want my kids to have to go through those kinds of things. I wanted to know that they were safe from the time the final school bell rang to the time they got they got home and that meant that either I or their dad would pick them up. I realize that that makes me sound like a control freak but these are my kids. If I’m not going to be the control freak in their lives, who would be? Besides, things are even crazier out there nowadays and I just don’t want my kids to be exposed to any of that mess.

But I get it. I can’t always baby my son. I know that I’m probably doing him a disservice by not letting him get out there to experience this world. I realize plenty of kids his age do it. And they are all fine. I know Sebastian will be fine, too.

It’s time for me to cut that cord and let him go. It’s not like he’s going off to war.

Again, I repeat, if only for myself: Sebastian is going to be fine.

I wish I had given him a can of mace though.


Is it too late to write a New Year’s post? And wax poetic about how the new year brings new opportunities, a fresh start, a clean slate?


So I’ll spare you my version of what 2018 means to me and all the things that I’m going to do to make it a good one.

Instead, I’ll just share with you all 18 current things about me and my life. Right here, right now.

  1. I’ve gotten sick twice already in this new year. Twice. This flu that’s going around is no joke. If you start to feel like you’re getting sick do yourself a favor. Stop what you’re doing and just let yourself be sick. The faster you do this, the sooner you’ll recover. Just don’t mess with this mother of a flu.
  2. I started a bullet journal. I was always intrigued by them and often wondered if starting one would make my busy life as a working mother of three a little more organized. I’ve enjoyed it so far. Maybe I’ll dedicate a future post all about my bullet journal journey.
  3. My first born was home for about a month for winter break and I loved it. But saying goodbye to her when it was time for her to go back to school was just as hard as it was when she first moved in back in September.
  4. I have a sudden love for brush pens. I can’t get enough of them. I went from not owning a single brush pen my entire life to collecting 2 dozen of them in a span of two weeks.
  5. My son and I have started the college conversation now even though he’s still in the middle of his sophomore year. I asked him what his thoughts were about potential schools and I breathed a sign of relief when he said that he was only interested in schools in California, Oregon and Washington.
  6. My two older kids and I have the iPhone X. When we first got them, I told them that they better take good care of them because they are some expensive arse phones. Guess who dropped theirs and then proceeded to run it over? Yours truly. Thank God for Apple Care.
  7. My youngest is embarking on a volleyball journey. She chose volleyball over ballet feeling like she was more of an athlete than a dancer. I may sign her up for hip hop though because I personally thought she was awesome at it and because it won’t have the same demands that ballet would.
  8. For the first time ever, my family is considering moving out of California and starting fresh in Washington or Oregon. Never thought I could ever do it but now feeling more and more like I can.
  9. Totally into the Outlander series. Love how it takes me away to a far away place. Love how strong Claire is. Love how much Jamie loves Claire.
  10. Equally loved The Handmaid’s Tale. Binge-watched it last weekend while I was sick and could not get enough of it. The next season needs to start. Stat.
  11. Next month I turn 49. Forty-freakin’-nine. I really don’t feel that old though.
  12. Planning a trip somewhere far away like Bali or Tahiti with the OG BFF to celebrate turning 50 next year. Can’t believe we’re going to be 50. I honestly don’t even feel 50.
  13. Still into podcasts and found an awesome one that I think everyone should try. It’s the Without Your Permission podcast. These cats keep it real.
  14. Been feeling like I want to try a yoga class. Sami tells me I should really try a hot yoga class. Is hot yoga supposed to be better for you than regular, not hot yoga?
  15. I’m in the middle of a low-sugar diet. And what this means for me is that I am saying no to anything with sugar in it unless it’s in my coffee. I really want to say I’m going no-sugar but just can’t get past the coffee thing.
  16. I’ve always wanted to launch a podcast and it’s finally coming to fruition. Really soon. I really hope that it’ll be entertaining. And doesn’t make listeners think, “This podcast sucks. I don’t know why some people think that ANYONE can launch a podcast.”
  17. Really dreading finding out what happened with Jack Pearson in This Is Us. In my eyes, Jack Pearson is awesome. I think that every child could use a Jack Pearson as their dad and every wife could use a Jack Pearson as their husband. Just my opinion, guys.
  18. I tried to come up with a single word to be my 2018 mantra but couldn’t choose between “focus” and “finish”. So I decided to have two 2018 words. I’m hoping that “focus” will remind me that I need to stop going a mile wide but only an inch deep with my writing projects which will then allow me to “finish” each of them in 2018. Because truth be told, there are so many writing projects and ideas in my head that if I don’t just focus on one at a time, my words and stories will never see the light of day.

That is all, my friends. 18 things about me. I challenge you all to share 18 things about yourself and your life. Right now. GO.


Guess what, blog friends? My daughter comes home from Seattle tomorrow night for Thanksgiving Break. To say that I’m excited about it is putting it mildly. I’d venture to guess that Sami is also looking forward to coming home for a little break from her freshman year in college. We’ve already talked about all the things she wants to eat while she’s here.

But this is not what I wanted to write about today.

Today I wanted to share that I’ve recently been going through a mini-existential crisis thinking about what purpose I have for being on this planet. Whoa… deep, huh? This isn’t the first time I’ve thought about why I’m here but it is the first time that I didn’t boil it down to raising my kids to be good, law-abiding citizens. I’ve never considered that maybe I had a bigger purpose than trying to be a good mother.

Do you guys ever question yourself in this way? Do you get an answer?

After a little bit of thinking (and by “little” I mean in those few moments that I had to myself when I wasn’t busy at work, taking care of my middle and youngest, tending to the needs of my fur baby or sleeping), I concluded that my purpose in this life is to help others. Help them become better versions of themselves, sharing ideas on how they could get through life’s challenges big and small, encouraging people to take the first step in the direction of their dreams no matter how scary, reminding others that we are not always perfect but that’s ok, giving those who need it the extra oomph they need to get through their day.

Sounds like I want to be a motivational speaker of some sort, doesn’t it?

But public speaking currently isn’t my jam at the moment so I will stick with motivational writing, motivational social media sharing, maybe even motivational podcasting.

The thing I worry about though is who is going to listen to me? Who will come looking to me for motivation? I mean, who am I and what challenges have I faced in my lifetime? I’m no Glennon Doyle Wambach who persevered through alcoholism and bulimia and is now blazing trails with her philanthropy and activism.  I’m not Becky Higgins who revolutionized the scrapbooking industry with her Project Life method of documenting, memory keeping and cultivating a good life. I only wish I could be as funny as Chrissy Teigen whose Twitter feed always leaves me in stitches.

I’m just me, Mylee. A working mother of three, a writer, navigating through life in the Bay Area. Who’s going to listen to what I have to say? Who’s going to find comfort and guidance in my words? Who’s going to come to my blog to add a little laughter to their day?

I know you guys are out there somewhere. I just need to keep writing and sharing and posting. You will come. Even if just one person a day comes to me for a pick-me-up, that’s all that really matters. That still counts as a checkmark in the fulfilling-my-life’s-purpose category, doesn’t it?

As I come to the end this blog post, a song just popped in my head. I’m going to use it as my own motivation. A variation of Dory’s Just Keep Swimming from Finding Nemo:

Just keep writing

Just keep writing

Just keep writing writing writing

What do we do we write write write

Hope you are all having an awesome day no matter where you are in this world.